Early Onset Rigor Mortis

Waning Crescent Moon

Sometimes the best way to overcome your run of the mill old man hiking pains is to exaggerate the bejesus out of ’em. For example, I could say my right knee feels like Buster Posey smashed it with a bat. Or my neck is seized up like a rusted crescent wrench. Or the fleeting random pains in my feet feel like bolts of phantom lightning. Or I have a general malaise equivalent to full body rigor mortis.

There. I feel better.

It was raining when I left The Twilght Zone Motel this morning. Plus it was very warm. Beneath my clothing I was sweating like Secretariat. Above my clothing was a steady drizzle. Ergo, I was wet.

And the road? Wet also. And the trucks flying by next to me? Wet and spraying. Why was I even doing this I wondered sporadically. Mostly, though, I just accepted it because anger mixed with despair mixed with nervous tension has no effect on driving rain. It just keeps coming, heartless, resilient.

I took exactly one picture today. That tells you that maybe the day didn’t completely suck. At least until you see the picture. Here it is. A park in tiny Seatonville IL. The highlight. Apex.


The peak of the day it was until, that is, I reached my destination of Princeton IL and the Burger King across the street from the Econolodge (Friends & Family Rate – YES!).

I had just ordered a Double Whopper Meal and had pulled out some cash money when a young couple sidled up and asked if they could pay for my meal. They had bicycled across the USA last year and they wanted to repay some of the stranger kindness received on their trip.

This noble act of brother/sisterhood completely changed my mood…for a minute…at least until I ate the food and felt it sitting in my gut like a roadkilled possum awash with catsup. Now I feel like I’m about to give birth to the cookie monster. With fries.

And my knee hurts like it’s home to a thousand hot knives.

Ahhh, that’s much better.

Peace, Love, and Hyperbole,

4 thoughts on “Early Onset Rigor Mortis

  1. Well hopefully when the magic of that Whopper really kicks in you’ll feel better. Here’s to drier days ahead!


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